Correction of the 1st exam

Task A: „pro and con essay“ about „The Struggle for Beauty“

Today we live in a world that strives for perfection, nothing seems real anymore. We tan our skin using artificial light; have cosmetic surgery on everything from toes to noses. It seems we are so obsessed with what we want to be that we don’t want to know who we are. In my “pro and con” essay I want to dwell on the advantages and disadvantages about
“The Struggle for Beauty”.
Let's look at the disadvantages to this struggle first. On the one hand, there is always the risk of a bodily harm for example from a botched plastic surgery or if we tan our skin in a tanning salon, it is very unhealthy and increases the risk of cancer due to this radiation. Also another disadvantage is that many girls feel unwell in their bodies if they see the famous super models, especially girls during puberty have this idea and they always think that they are too fat, this idea leads to dieting, which too many girls often exaggerate and the consequences are diseases such as anorexia and bulimia. Thus, there is the danger of psychological problems and you loose control. On the other hand, there are also advantages to this struggle for beauty. If you want to be a model and you work so hard for this job you'll maybe have success and earn a lot of money. In addition, you are more self-confident and you get the feeling of being accepted by other people. Or if someone is really unhappy with his look, for example if you have a blemish on your body you can always remove by surgery, however, these should be well considered.
In my opinion, we forget that having a charismatic personality and a healthy dose of self-esteem is really beautiful. I mean, if someone really has such a problem with the look, a surgery really should made possible. But in essence, everybody is beautiful in one way; it isn’t just always recognized by all. Nothing seems real in a world where everything can be modified for the sake of perfection. Nobody is perfect; everyone has his quirks, which should be respected.
To conclude, I'm convinced “The Struggle for Beauty” is a topic which should be discussed, but there will always be different opinions. I think, everyone should just be satisfied as he is, sometimes it may be difficult but I think health is far more important than beauty.